


Those Who Stand For Nothing

by psychomachia



Category: 18th Century CE RPF
Genre: M/M, Yuletide 2006
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-25
Updated: 2011-12-25
Packaged: 2017-10-28 02:35:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/302799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/psychomachia/pseuds/psychomachia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Seven times Alexander Hamilton didn't talk to Thomas Jefferson (and what probably should have been said).</p>
            </blockquote>





	Those Who Stand For Nothing

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into 中文 available: [若无信仰|Those Who Stand For Nothing](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5912887) by [elanor_BleuNoir](https://archiveofourown.org/users/elanor_BleuNoir/pseuds/elanor_BleuNoir)



> Quotations mostly used from William Bennett's "Our Sacred Honor," which did not improve me morally, but did help me out with getting the right wording.

**I.**

 _I am an unlucky honest man, that speak my sentiments to all and with emphasis._  
Alexander Hamilton

There are many letters he should write tonight.

He has written to his wife twice, to assure her of their meeting in the bosom of God. He knows that she will be safe, that his children will be taken care of, that there is nothing he need do for them.

What friends he has will take care of themselves. Those close to him will understand why it must be done this way.

His enemies, more numerous, need no addressing. They will gloat or speak in judgement against him, no doubt, if what he fears and knows will happen comes to pass.

And there are others he would long to write to, but they are beyond any earthly speech. They will have to wait until he sees them.

They will not have long.

There is one more man he would write to, but this is a time to reconcile himself with God and the words he would want to say to this man must remain unknown.

He wonders if in the end, he would have told him, "I told you Burr could not be trusted."

Or "I should never have done it."

Or ... but that would be even more foolish and ill-advised to say than the words that have landed him here.

It is nearly dawn.

 

 **II.**

 _Hamilton is really a colossus to the anti-republican party. Without numbers, he is an host within himself._  
Thomas Jefferson

It should be obvious to anyone now that Mr. Thomas Jefferson is nothing more than an intellectual voluptuary who loves France more than his own country.  
Alexander Hamilton

Jefferson is possibly the most irritating man Hamilton has ever met. What surprises Hamilton is that it took him this long to grasp this essential fact.

Jefferson does not understand the basics of how to run a country. He is an idle farmer, a man who knows nothing of work or finance. He bumbles into Hamilton's affairs and suggests things that are clearly preposterous, naive or simply wrong. What is unfathomable is that people actually listen to him. Perhaps it's the drawl or the charm he plasters on.

The man is stealing Madison from him; Hamilton has his suspicions about how that was accomplished. One day Madison is writing the most important political treatise ever conceived of, the next he is whispering with Jefferson (and Hamilton distinctly hears something about the rights of states, he knows he does).

Even worse, Washington likes him. It is horrible enough that he has to share his leader with the country; to share him with Jefferson is well nigh intolerable. But if he argues with Jefferson, he will receive another disappointed letter, and he does not wish to ever make Washington unhappy again. Hamilton still has nightmares about the time he left Washington's service.

Most damning of all, he associates unnecessarily with the French. Lafayette is all right; he is a military hero and a friend of Washington's, so there is no issue with him (apart from the disturbing amount of embracing the two of them do when they think no one is watching). But Jefferson has taken ideas from the French and that will never do. For one day, he may talk about liberty and fraternity, and before long, it will be an agrarian-based economy or something equally inane.

And if Hamilton cares to admit it, one of the key things underlying this entire annoyance is the sense that on some level Jefferson may be right. He will never admit it this to Jefferson, but many people would like to live in Jefferson's America. He is sure that it would be idyllic and peaceful, and men would walk together in bucolic harmony, speaking of philosophy and the greatest good one could do while the crops thrive and grow lush.

Yes, he knows people would love to live in the country that Jefferson lives in. He also knows that no one would be able to afford to. Before long, men would become corrupt and lazy, relying on others to do work. Merchants would fail, farms would lie fallow, and they would be at the mercy of England and her continental neighbors all over again.

He would try to convince Jefferson of this, but the earnest fool has finished whatever he was rambling about and is looking at him expectantly for an answer.

Hamilton realizes he is not paid nearly enough to handle this, and sighs.

 

 **III.**

 _We are full of vices. They are full of weaknesses._  
Alexander Hamilton

Hamilton loves women. If one were to ask, he would want to make that very clear to anyone who would doubt his sincerity and respect towards the fairer sex.

Even as a child, he was well favored. As he grew older, he had very little problems in wooing; he was attractive to women and they responded favorably to him.

When he has asked, his dear Laurens has been most helpful in outlining his virtues to women. It helps when your friend can talk flatteringly of your looks, your fortunes, and the length of your nose and how it could be an asset rather than a liability. It is perhaps unnerving how knowledgeable Laurens is on his appearance, but that is an entirely different matter.

He loves his wife. She is a perfect helpmate: intelligent, respectable and discrete about when it matters. If his eye happens to wander to another woman, it cannot be helped. Men are naturally filled with vices that lead them to ruin, and he does not intend to risk his current contentment on a whim. This is what separates him from lesser, weaker men.

What is bothering him lately is that his eye has been turning to someone else. It is most inappropriate, and horrifically disturbing. And much like the person of his desire, it will not leave him alone, occupying his thoughts at the most inappropriate time.

Jefferson has consistently been a constant pain in his side, a man of superficial thinking and little common sense. Hamilton has been able to work with him, it is true, but only through the most difficult and strenuous negotiation. And yet through the political deals and ordeals, he has grudgingly given Jefferson his respect, though certainly not his admiration or anything resembling that.

Most definitely, if he feels anything for the man lately, it is pity.

The death of a wife is a horrible thought to consider, though Jefferson had time to prepare, his wife having been ill for so long. It is rumored that Jefferson never left her bedside and that he promised he would never remarry.

It is clear that Jefferson loved his wife.

It is clear that Hamilton loves his wife.

Based on this calculation, it would be a logical assumption that neither man would wish to become involved with the other. This is not even factoring in years of rancor and bickering, as well as the political issues at hand.

Hamilton knows this and yet he cannot declare this assertion true. For the fact of the matter is at some point during the arguments with Jefferson and the insults he regularly published about him, Jefferson became attractive to him.

Clearly, he has become deranged from constant exposure to the man. He is truly beyond any help that a doctor can provide. The best thing to do would be to stay away from the man, until the disease or madness passes, and all returns to normal.

Hamilton has a sickening feeling, however, that this will not be enough.

 

 **IV.**

 _Every human being, my dear, must thus be viewed according to what it is good for, for none of us, no not one, is perfect; and were we to love none who had imperfections, this world would be a desart for our love._  
Thomas Jefferson

Jefferson is grinding his teeth.

He is sitting across from Hamilton, grinding his teeth and gazing absently out the window.

Hamilton has no idea why the man is here, nor does he care to know. It is enough that Jefferson has invaded his home, usurped a chair, and is now in the process of destroying what little peace of mind Hamilton still retains. This will not stand.

He stares coldly at Jefferson until the man acknowledges the glare with a steady, measured look of his own. He stops grinding his teeth.

Hamilton resumes reading his book. He would ask Jefferson why he is here, but it would give the man too much satisfaction to know he actually cared. No doubt, he will tell him soon, and then he can have the distinct pleasure of proving him wrong, denying him a favor, or throwing him out if he oversteps Hamilton's limited sense of hospitality.

Jefferson begins to tap his foot.

Hamilton ignores him.

The tapping persists.

Hamilton reads the same sentence four times.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

He cannot take it anymore. He looks up to see Jefferson with a smug smile on his face. The smile is by far more irritating than the teeth or the feet.

Hamilton thinks of one way to remove that smile, than thinks of a better way, and rethinks that second way.

And then decides if it removes Jefferson from his house, he's more than willing to do it.

He leans over the desk and kisses him, and is rather surprised that Jefferson kisses him back. And damn him, he must have learned something besides impractical idealism from the French, because Hamilton could swear now that Jefferson's tongue should not be able to do that.

"Why did you permit this liberty?" he wants to ask, and decides that in the end, he does not actually care. He is damned no matter what the reason is.

There is no circumstance in which he would let Jefferson leave even the room now.

 

 **V.**

 _In the moment of our separation on the road as I traveled, and every hour since, I felt all that love, respect and attachment for you, with which length of years, close connexion and your merits have inspired me._  
George Washington

Hamilton will never have the relationship with Jefferson that Washington has with Lafayette. For one thing, he feels fairly confident that Washington has never wanted to brain his companion with an inkwell after a rather heated argument over yet another point of economics Jefferson pretends not to understand. Oh, he knows what Hamilton is saying. He just won't admit he knows.

No, Lafayette and Washington are bosom companions, best friends in spirit and love and all the things that Washington says are noble, just and good. It is a manly love, which Hamilton knows is occasionally punctuated by other manly things which neither one will speak of except hinted in the most florid speech to each other.

Really, Hamilton does not understand how Martha has not figured it out already. Unless ... and Hamilton's mind conjures an image that one should not have of one's commander-in-chief, his wife, and a Frenchman who has a body count to his name. Perhaps that is why Lafayette comes to Washington.

Hamilton once asked the Frenchman, as he was staring dreamily at Washington and his horse, if it was more difficult to love a man than a woman. It had taken him a moment to answer, as a stray beam of sunshine illuminated Washington in a halo of gold, and distracted both men. Eventually, after Washington had gone into the shade, Lafayette had shook his head and replied, "For a man such as him, you are willing to do anything."

Hamilton knows he would do anything for Washington, but now he wonders if that is true of Jefferson as well. If so, he is in more trouble than he thought and he should make new calculations assuming this factor.

He looks at Jefferson, who is drowsing in his chair, his wig askew on his knee. It is a thoroughly charming picture and Hamilton involuntarily smiles at the sight. It is not as if there is a lack of compensation for his part. Hamilton has always believed in getting the most benefit for one's investments, providing the risks are not too great and the end result is most desirable.

He wants to say something soft and sweet, something worthy of a woman or the French, but it sticks in his mouth. He kicks Jefferson awake instead, who blinks and asks if Hamilton is quite finished with that mess he has been scribbling on.

 

 **VI.**

 _Why has government been instituted at all? Because the passions of men will not conform to the dictates of reason and justice, without constraint._  
Alexander Hamilton

He has few friends left now, whom he knew in the beginning.

Hamilton finds some pleasure in thwarting Madison's, and by extension, Jefferson's, half-cooked ideas on a regular basis. There is some happiness to be had in promoting one's own well-thought out plans and if he can sting one of them in the process, it is the natural consequence of their own folly.

He's still perturbed about the tariffs, though.

Then there is Adams. If there is any man he often wishes to push out of a window, it is he. Emotionally unstable Adams, whose temper and possible insanity do not favorably compare him to Washington.

But then no one can live up to Washington, who lies cold in the ground, having gone to his grave beloved by all (especially Adams, for Hamilton knows one does not get angry at something feels nothing for). He does not care to think of Lafayette's feelings on the matter; he wishes no more sorrow added to his grievous burden and he senses the man's own weight would be heavy indeed.

He tries not to think too much about Jefferson unless it is necessary, but it is rather difficult these days.

They do not see each other as frequently nor do they stay long in each other's company. The presidency hangs in the balance and it would do to have another scandal hanging around Jefferson's neck. Sally was bad enough, and it is a mercy it did not ruin him for good. Hamilton knows, having Maria as a constant question, that once vulnerability is shown, it is the duty of your enemies to use it until you crumble.

Neither one of them will falter, though both will wish they were weaker men. If they were weaker, less ambitious (and Jefferson will not admit this either, but Hamilton knows better), perhaps they would find an easier way.

They might have ended up in France after all.

And America would still be under control of England and nothing would have changed. It is useless thinking that way when nothing can be done. Jefferson may enjoy such thought experiments, but Hamilton is too weary to enjoy them any more.

He dislikes Adams and he loathes Burr, but he knows what Jefferson's presidency means: an ending to the present and a wall against the future. Nevertheless, he knows his duty. Hamilton rounds up those still loyal to him and prepares for victory of a sort.

One night, before the election reaches a standstill and four years Hamilton will seal his own fate, they meet as men, not as the leaders of political parties who would love nothing more than to grind the other into the ground.

It is fierce and fast, and they do not talk about what they know will happen next.

They will not see each other in private again. No mention of anything shared between the two men will ever reach the grubby hands of the press. It will never have happened.

"At least Jefferson was honest," Hamilton says later, and does not add, "and I am lying."

 

 **VII.**

 _...it is of some comfort to us both that the term is not very distant at which we are to deposit, in the same cerement, our sorrows and suffering bodies, and to ascend in essence to an ecstatic meeting with the friends we have loved and lost and whom we shall still love and never lose again.  
Thomas Jefferson_

Hamilton dies on July 12, 1804, in pain and suffering, and is laid to rest in a churchyard in Manhattan. His widow and children mourn. Morris takes care of the majority of what needs to be done.

Jefferson gives nothing away that would show how he truly feels. He is a politician after all, and they have always been good at maintaining multiple lies and even believing them.

He knows Hamilton bears a great deal of responsibility for what happened. The man never knew when to keep quiet, and when it would better to use honeyed words and apologies rather than an angry tirade. It is a trait of the Federalists, Jefferson thinks, that they use a cudgel when they should use a soft touch.

But he does miss the man, even if he did make Jefferson's life that much more difficult. He knows it's odd, but what he misses most about Hamilton is not his beauty, or his intelligence, or even the passion with which he burned Jefferson's favorite wig in the fireplace after he caught him flirting. No, he misses hearing Hamilton rant on and on about the justifications of whatever current scheme he had and pretending that the only thing he had heard through it all was his voice, when in fact, he had heard every single word. And understood most of it.

If they are reunited in some distant, celestial plane and both are able to see the other man without fear or anger, Jefferson thinks he'll tell Hamilton that at some point during the fighting, the arguing, the libel and the slander, he fell in love with him.

And that will definitely shut the bastard up long enough for Jefferson to kiss him first this time.


End file.
